Riley

There are trees that fill the sky, becoming part of our landscape, shading us in summer, delighting us with color in the fall, etching the night with their branches in winter. Their roots spread deep in the earth, their leaves whisper to us in the breeze, their weight and presence a constant reassurance to us. When a violent storm uproots one of these majestic beauties, it leaves a gaping hole in the horizon, a deep wound in the earth. It’s a shock to pass the place where it was, the tree’s absence profoundly disturbing. This storm has left a hole in my heart, a wound in my soul. My dog’s death is the most unsettling, traumatic event I have ever experienced. He is no longer part of my landscape, though I look for him everywhere and expect to see him any minute. My sweet little dog has left a gaping emptiness in me that I am at a loss to comprehend or compensate.

We were careful when we talked about adding a dog to our family, knowing what a responsibility it is. We both had dogs in our childhood’s, but this was the first time that we were to own our own dog. We are unable to have children, I am alone during the week, so with this tremendous need in our lives to love someone, we made the commitment to care for a dog.

He won our hearts at first sight, pink nose, floppy ears, soft pink ‘potato’ pads on his paws. He was my companion, my shadow, the tree in my sky. I needed him so much in my times of troubles, his fur was often soaked with my tears. When I felt like it was too hard to get out of bed in the morning, I did because he was there.

His life was hard from the start, illnesses, operations, trips to the vet’s, but we cared for him and loved him as best we could, and he gave us everything. I had promised him, the day we brought him home, that when the time came, I would do the right thing for him, but this time came to soon! A day before his second birthday...

The decision to end his suffering was necessary and best for him, but I wish I had had just one more day! I wanted to walk him through the park one more time, groom him in my lap, sleep with him nestled under my arm, watching his cheeks puff, give him the love of a lifetime.

I held him, we hugged each other with Riley between us, kissing his sweet round head, telling him what a good boy he was, ‘til he slept.